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What’s the biggest enemy of successful temptation busting? All or nothing thinking. That’s when you think: Blown it now. Why do I even bother trying?
In every area of our lives we allow ourselves a margin of error. You don’t expect to get everything right all the time. So, cut yourself some slack when it comes to dealing with temptation. If you see every slip-up as confirmation of your total inability to resist danger foods then you’ll sabotage your efforts to make long-lasting changes.
The Biggest Loser contestants admit that it’s a struggle to stay strong. The lovely Kirsten Binnie told me, ‘We will all fall off the wagon now and then, but it’s about how quickly we get back on.’ So, when you’ve cave in, acknowledge your slip (oops, shouldn’t have eaten that), recommit to your eating plan (better eat well for the rest of the day) and get busy to take your mind off the situation.
What you must not do is beat yourself up with horrible, guilty thoughts. You will never ever be totally immune from temptation, so you will slip up again. Consequently it’s kinder to yourself to accept your mistakes calmly and get back on that wagon with a renewed sense of purpose. And don’t forget to give yourself big ups when you do resist some tempting treat. Each successful effort makes the next one more achievable—but it’s an ongoing mission. The important thing is to boost your resilience and persistence, and this entails flexible thinking, not all-or-nothing thinking.
In case it has escaped your attention, we live in a supersized world that is busting its too-tight seams with food. It’s everywhere. It might be a pristine environment on the home front, but sooner or later you’re going to have to venture out to where the confectionery lurks. Or you’ll have to attend a function with a groaning buffet table. How do you BUST TEMPTATION in the real world?
Well, if you’re hungry you’re vulnerable. There are several temptation zones in which it pays to think ahead and take the edge of your appetite first. One of these is the supermarket. If you’re trawling the aisles with a grumbling tummy suddenly all sorts of random products will seem—mmm, yummy.
Carrying an apple is a great way to quell hunger. The natural sweetness is satisfying and the fibre helps to fill you up. And they’re pretty portable. Having one in your handbag or gym bag or in the glovebox is a stellar stand-by for when you want a nutrient-rich little something to tide you over.
On the social front, it’s a good idea not to be ravenous when you arrive at the event. Have a few nuts before you go out, or a smoothie or a bowl of soup. Once there it’s also sensible to position yourself away from the food. Don’t stand next to a bowl of chips and expect to refrain. Give yourself a small handful of snacks on a small plate—then step away.
If you eat decent meals at regular intervals you are less likely to crave extra treats. By decent I mean a balance of lean protein, low GI carbs and GENEROUS helpings of vegetables and some fruit to finish off. Letting yourself get hungry by skipping meals or eating refined, rapidly digested carbs will make it soooo much harder to resist the lure of all those tempting morsels calling you everywhere you go. Don’t go hungry. Eat well. Bust temptation.
Face it, we’re hardwired to eat. Our ancient ancestors lived in a harsh world where food was scarce and starvation was a frequent reality. Consequently we have evolved to seek out sustenance and our efficient bodies store every single itty-bitty calorie in the event of another famine.
So, it’s not reasonable to expect to rely on willpower alone to deal with temptation. We have thousands of years of evolution urging us to go on, eat up to overcome. You need to put some TEMPTATION BUSTING strategies in place instead. And one of the most effective things you can do is reengineer your environment.
What does this involve? It means removing all alluring sources of temptation from your personal space: your home, your car, your handbag, your desk drawer and anywhere else you’ve stashed a few goodies. Ditching the junk is an empowering gesture that says I am in control here. I am master of my domain.
This strategy is something the contestants on The Biggest Loser have all learned. Cosi said to me, ‘If we have some yummy cake in the fridge at home I think of it all day. If the bad food isn’t there, I can’t eat, simple as that.’ So, grab a garbage bag and clean out your fridge and pantry. Be ruthless.
Then, replace the lot with life-giving, delectable real food. Make sure it’s stuff you really like. Life will be too miserable if you don’t have anything delicious to eat and you’ll feel resentful and end up backsliding sooner or later. Next repeat this process at work and elsewhere. Protect yourself from temptation. By making it easy to succeed you reinforce positive new eating behaviours and you’ll have more confidence in your ability to control your eating. Result!
So, my friend Paul tells me that he’s getting to the beach extra early every morning for a body surf. And on the way home he drops in to this amazing bakery for a latte and a CROISSANT. ‘Is that bad?’ he asked.
His self-justification was that by getting out in the surf he ‘could afford’ the extra calories in the alluring Madamoiselle Croissant. But he was replacing (exceeding?) the energy he had burned with a (nutrient-free) folderol, so the body surf wasn’t going to help him shift a few kilos after all. He may as well just struggle out of bed at dawn and head straight for the bakery.
But the bigger problem is that by linking the two events—body surf and croissant—he has set up an expectation in his brain that they go together. He has created a conditioned response. And we all have them: pleasurable occasions we associate with certain food. Choc top at the movies. Meat pie at the footy. Biscuit with a cup of tea. And because we unconsciously anticipate eating, we feel deprived and annoyed if we can’t. The temptation is too hard to ignore because of the strength of the association.
‘What should I do?’ he groaned. My TEMPTATION BUSTING tip: set up a new association pronto with a high quality breakfast. Not something boring, but something he likes just as much or more than that buttery minx. Say, poached eggs and mushrooms or grilled tomato on sourdough toast. By swapping something delicious but unhealthy with something equally delicious and totally healthy he will gradually develop a new conditioned response, one that allows him to meet his weight-loss goals.
Successful TEMPTATION BUSTING means challenging your unhealthy conditioned responses. This can be scary to start with, but with the right substitutions you can take control. And set yourself free.
In the heat of the moment, it’s tough to ignore that little voice whispering I want it, I want it. When temptation has you in its grip, what do you do, dammit?
There are two approaches to that killer moment. Number one is: get busy. Disrupt the chain of events that goes from wanting to eat a particular something special to actually eating it. Cravings are rarely about physical hunger, so it makes sense not to respond to them by eating. Go for a quick walk. Make a quick phone call. Do sudoku for five minutes. Anything that distracts you from indulging that first impulse to eat will work.
The other approach, little grasshopper, is more Zen. Instead of ignoring your overwhelming desire to inhale a litre of Häagen-Dazs, stop and acknowledge it. Don’t get upset, just notice what you are feeling and wait until it passes. Accepting your uncomfortable feelings but not acting upon them creates a new pathway in your brain. Next time you’re in a hot temptation zone you will find it easier to activate this new pathway and so on until it becomes second nature.
Both these approaches have the effect of calming you down. There is tension associated with temptation, which you usually deal with by giving yourself a reason to indulge: I deserve it or It won’t kill me to have one more or Why should I miss out? Reducing the tension reduces the emotion. And by not giving in to temptation the desire will eventually weaken in intensity and reduce in frequency.
Distract your attention or breathe through the pain of the moment . . . whichever way you choose to go, if you keep at it you will become stronger in the face of temptation and on your way to a slimmer, happier life.
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