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Using large family principles is at the heart of the Thriving way of raising kids.
If we are to prepare children adequately for the future then parents need to take a step back and provide an environment that develops their confidence, their character and their resilience ( www.parentingideas.com.au/thrivingparenting ).
It is these three qualities that will enhance children’s prospects of future success in all areas of life, including their relationships, their family and their future working lives.
These qualities don’t develop in a vacuum. They may develop by accident, but I wouldn’t count on it.
They best develop in an environment where parents and teachers purposefully adopt principles and techniques that promote these qualities. Nor do these qualities develop independently of each other. The development of each impacts on each other. When kids develop a greater sense of self-confidence they usually behave better and they are more likely to bounce back from setbacks, particularly social injustices.
Confidence
Confidence is about taking your rightful place in the world and grabbing your rightful space. It is about making the most of the opportunities presented to you. Confident kids take more learning risks and are likely to challenge themselves more than kids who are low on confidence. They are less likely to place limits on themselves or their achievements. (www.parentingideas.com.au/parents/confidence )
Character
Character refers to the attitudes and behaviours a child develops to maximise their success. Personality may attract initial attention but it won’t guarantee success. Character more than likely will. Character has greater substance and depth. The development of depth of character in children is at the heart of effective child-rearing.
Resilience
Children need to be resilient. They need to be able to bounce back from life’s bigger and smaller setbacks. They need to experience the gamut of emotions that come with loss, failure, disappointment and other childhood hardships, frustrations and difficulties they routinely face so they learn they can cope when life doesn’t go their way. Resilience is linked with good mental health habits and also with a child’s success. (www.parentingideas.com.au/parents/resilience )
For more ideas and resources help you raise kids to thrive visit www.parentingideas.com.au .
“Parenting is the world’s hardest job” is one the great clichés of modern times. Raising kids has always been challenging. It always had been and always will be.
Every generation of parents has had their specific challenges. If you raised your kids during the Great Depression then just feeding your kids was a challenge.
If you were raising your kids after the Second World War there was a shortage of resources needed for bringing up kids. Infant Welfare Centres were built, new schools were erected and teachers were trained en masse to cater for this burgeoning population of kids.
The current generation has challenges of a different sort that impact on their ability to raise their children. Lack of time to spend with children and devote to parenting is a massive challenge.
Modern technology is changing the parenting landscape irrevocably, making parenting both easier and harder. Staying in touch with your kids has never been easier as they are only ever a text message away or Skype call away. Yet keeping your kids safe has never been harder as communication technology means that even in their bedrooms they are connected to the world and the predators and bullies that are online.
Who’d be a kid?
Many children and young people have parallel lives – an online and offline life – complete with two different sets of friends and acquaintances. This requires new approaches and throws up new questions that parents a generation ago didn’t even consider.
In the face of these changes many parents feel powerless and confused. How should I raise my child to be take their place in the world is a big question for many parents. A more significant issue is that many parents are unsure of their place in the parent-child relationship. Should I be my child’s friend or his parent? How do I effectively discipline my child and still maintain a strong relationship? These are the types of dilemmas many parents face.
What dilemmas and challenges do you face as a parent?
Tweet me at www.twitter.com/michaelgrose or tell me on my blog at www.parentingideas.com.au/blog
Thriving! is a parenting book and it’s a brand new way of parenting based on some pretty solid psychological principles.
In fact, there are 10 Thriving principles that, when persistently and consistently used, will promote the development of the Thriving qualities of confidence, character and resilience.
Here are the Thriving parenting principles:
1. The self-sufficiency principle: Develop self-sufficiency in kids from the earliest possible age.
2. The problem-ownership principle: He who owns a problem, solves a problem.
3. The choice principle: You can choose how you act, think and behave.
4. The adaptability principle: It’s better to help kids adapt to situations, rather than change situations to suit them.
5. The teaching principle: Parenting is a never ending teaching activity.
6. The family-first principle: Focus on the family, not on individual children.
7. The shared responsibility principle: Involve kids fully in the family enterprise.
8. The cooperation principle: Cooperation in families is won, not demanded.
9. The relationship principle: Relationships give you leverage…….and need to be nurtured
10. The community principle: Small town mindsets rule bro’
Many inexperienced parents raise their kids through trial and error. They practise on their first born who takes them into new ground.
Having some principles and direction takes much of the guesswork and confusion out of parenting.
What principles do you use to guide you? What learnings from your parents have you brought into your parenting?
Comment at www.twitter.com/michaelgrose or www.parentingideas.com.au/blog
I ask parents in parenting seminars ( www.michaelgrose.com )whether they’d like to be a kid today?
Sadly most people say that they are glad that they are not growing up today.
Most people recognize that kids today don’t have the same freedoms that they had as kids. In fact, today’s kids live with a type of pressure that few us experienced when we were growing up.
Childhood today is serious business- for kids, for parents and for the vast number of commercial ventures cashing in on the early childhood movement.
It’s great that we have so many resources available for children but we need to be careful that we don’t organise the life, spontaneity and fun out of childhood.
I can’t help but feel sorry for many young children as they are dutifully driven from one organised education session to the next.
Children are structured, timetabled and organised by adults.
Michael Grose, author of Thriving!
They don’t enjoy the same free range childhood of past generations nor do they experience the same risks.
Childhood, despite the media concerns, is safer than ever. But is it better and in children’s long-term interests to grow up in a risk-adverse environment?
The removal of risk goes against the notion that many children are heuristic learners who learn from experience rather than heeding well-intentioned advice.
Children will learn little about predicting risk and may even become reckless if all the dangers have been removed from the environment.
While it would be an insensitive person to be flippant about children being hurt or injured, we need to be careful that we don’t do children a disservice by eliminating all risk and, inadvertently putting them at further risk in the process.
What do you think? Are today’s parents too safety conscious concerning our kids?
Go to my poll at www.parentingideas.com.au .
Comment: www.twitter.com/michaelgrose
Write another parenting book, that is!
I’ve written seven of them ( www.parentingideas.com.au ), going back to 1992, and each one nearly did me in.
Let’s face it! It’s easier writing columns and newsletters than tackling a 70,000+ word book.
DESPITE my protests I’ve written another one …………………………….and I’m super-glad that I did. More about the book in a moment, but I’d like to tell you why I changed my mind.
If you followed me in Happy Kids (www.parentingideas.com.au )or read my Body and Soul columns in News Ltd newspapers around the country you’d know that I’ve been writing about a different type of parenting than anyone else.
For over four years I’ve been writing about a type of parenting that:
So throughout 2009 I put all my ideas and concepts into a coherent 70,000+ page book, that I absolutely believe nails what effective parenting is all about.
The first readers’ responses have been OVERWHELMING.
My editor’s (who is a mother) response is typical of those who’ve read it.
After reading the early draft she said that Thriving will be her new parenting bible. She’ll be recommending it to all her friends…………………………………
BUT the important thing is, I’m thrilled with it!
At times while proof-reading different drafts I’ve jumped up from my chair like a little kid opening his presents at Christmas saying, “This is great. This is seriously good! Did I write this?”
My office staff just look at me with that ‘there he goes again’ look………..
I’m confident that this book and the events we have planned around it will go a long way to changing the face of parenting……………
I know it’s a big call but it has some seriously important concepts in it.
The name, THRIVING, sums up its intent.
It’s a roadmap for parents to help their kids THRIVE as they prepare them to tackle the changing world of this new millennium.
Want to be notified about great events that I’ve got planned around the launch of Thriving? Then go to www.parentingideas.com.au/parents.
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